Hey Being in college for ten years can be hard so here are some tips i live by.

TOP 14 TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE

14. Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour. 

13. Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life. 

12. Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and games until someone loses their 'nads. 

11. Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover. 

10. Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business. 

9. If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major. 

8. Boring lecture? Start a wave! 

7. College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner. 

6. "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges. 

5. Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster. 

4. Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay. 

3. Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people. 

2. Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it as "acing Biology." 

and the Number 1 Tip for Surviving College... 

1. In a pinch, beer can be used as a milk substitute in your breakfast cereal.

In honor of all you knocked up ladies.

Surviving a party when your pregnant. 

hey just cause you already had too much fun ;) doesn't mean you still  can't have some more.

1. Avoid getting over heated.  Stick to low impact cardio dance moves like the cabbage patch.

2. Don't drink alcohol. No, seriously don't. How do you think you get in your state in the first place. 

3.  Hold court rather than stand for hours. Find a comfy chair and people will come to you, you can entertain from this position.

4. Dress appropriately. You just can't wear those stretchy mini-dresses like you use to. sorry.

OK have fun!!! 

Whoa, sometimes climbing mountains can be tricky.

I just wish I knew this before hand.

7 RULES TO SURVIVING MT. EVERST or a party. Whatever, same thing. 

1. Always have the last word on your safety. That's right b*^%*@ you say how that s^!%  goes down. 

2. Respect the Weather. That's right cause mother nature can be one mean MOTHERF%&^

3. Use the ropes. Yea, baby love 'em and leave 'em.

4. Drink Plenty. And let girl know where you'll be drinking- ParTay!

5. Know yourself ;)

6. Know your gear. And keep that S^!% looking tight.

7. Avalanche. yea, i think this one is just for mountains. 

So you plane just crashed...

and you're hanging out in the open sea. Well here are some tips on how to make your stay just little more comfy.

First get one of these.

Or one of these.

Fine just do this. 

Ok, stay safe and have fun! 

So You're Heading Out To The Great Out Doors

 

If you encounter a friendly bear, and by "Friendly" I mean not, here are some tips to keep you safe and comfy.

Back away slowly, avoid any eye contact, and sing to the bear in a calm, quiet voice. Running might trigger a chase response, and you're not going to outrun a bear. No way, Jose. 

Throw something onto the ground (for example, a large format camera or your little brother) if the bear pursues you, as this may distract the bear and allow you to escape.

Keep your backpack on; it'll protect your body if you do get mulled.

Don't climb a tree. Black bears can climb trees, and trees found in grizzly country generally have weak trunks and lack low branches. Drop to the ground in the fetal position with your hands behind your neck ( like when the cops pull you over) if attacked. Stay silent and don't move.

Stay quiet and motionless for at least 20 minutes once the bear leaves. Bears will often watch from a distance and return at the first sign of movement.

Ok, have fun and be safe!

Brrr.... It's Cold Outside.

Being Homeless Is Hard Here Are Some Tips To Make Just A Little More Comfy :)

Keep a knife on you at all times.

When pan handling, keep it light no sob stories. Go funny, for example "Stock tips for a $1."

Make friends! Forming a "gang" or a "crew" can help you survive the mean streets.

Sleep on cardboard  because  the concrete can suck the calcium from your bones which can suck the heat from your body.

Remember malls are a good place to find half eaten food.

And so that you fit in here is some lingo.

Spange: Spare change.

Schwill: Let's go drink!

Oogles:  Despondent young people living on the streets. 

OK have fun and be safe!

So... you're going to prison...

Here are some tips to make your stay a little more comfy.


Physical cleanliness is essential. Always be clean and groomed. This is the first step in keeping yourself healthy while in prison. Personal cleanliness enhances self-esteem; plus, it makes a positive statement to others about you.


NEVER involve yourself with punks. Do not have sex with punks, do not associate with those who have sex with punks, etc. Many an inmate has been killed by a jealous boyfriend. This may not seem like the shiny happy egalitarian thing to do, but believe me, neither is dying.

Here are some suggestions for successful time management: develop the habit of getting up early. This can be a plus. All that is needed is an alarm clock and a little will power. Think of getting up early as getting a jump on the competition. When the rest of the world is just waking, you'll be up, cleaned, groomed, dressed and already in full motion.


OK, have fun and be safe!